I hate dating! There, I said it. As a woman over the age of 50, I find myself more aware of my likes and dislikes. More in-tune with who I am and how I imagine my future. Yes, it would be nice to have a special someone to share in my world and to share in theirs, but it is not the end all. I think many of us baby boomers must confess that we no longer need or want to compromise when it come to finding a mate. The old saying that opposites attract is not entirely true. In fact, we rather prefer someone who shares more or our interests then not.

One of my besties is an amazingly gorgeous woman named Hildegard. Like me, she is over 50 and single. Hildegard is extremely outgoing and looks at dating as more of a challenge. She has no reservations when it comes to putting herself out there and will try-on a few duds, in her quest to ultimately finding that special someone. Me, not so much. I don’t have her energy or patience. Hildegard’s dating debacles are hilarious and I enjoy hearing every single story in great detail. A few samplings of her dates include, a fellow who cried all the time about his ex-girlfriend and how he missed her cat. Next, was the fellow who met her for coffee.  He sat slumped in a chair and taciturn the entire time. Not one word came out of his mouth. Next was the man with Tourette’s Syndrome who would shout out vulgarities during their one and only dinner date. But, my all time favorite must be the man I call Mr. Poopy Pants. He has bowel issues that he refused to manage, although he did admit that when he takes his medicine, he if fine. He just didn’t find taking his meds important enough while dating. Hildegard being in the medical field as well as holding a PhD in Psychology, is probably more understanding and sympathetic when is comes to her dates personal issues, but Honest To Pete, even she has a breaking point.

When Leslie met Henry

Wonderful time at the beach with Henry

 Now let’s talk about my most recent experience. After not dating for almost a year, I was introduced to a guy, a great guy, a handsome great guy, a handsome great guy that shared many of my interests. Needless to say, we were off to a ideal start…at least on paper. He would suggest a day to meet for lunch or dinner at a location near his home. Typically, the date was scheduled 1 to 2 weeks out. Which was fine. After the date was scheduled, Henry did not feel a need to communicate with me in any fashion before the date. Not even a Howdy-Doo text or the customary periodic, How Was Your Day text. Nothing, just crickets. Typically, on the morning of a scheduled date, I would only then receive a courteous text inquiring as to where and what time shall we meet? The last time I met him, I gently asked about the crickets thing and how many women just NO SHOWED because they had not heard anything from him in-between dates. His answer was simple, “All the Time.” Ya can’t teach old dogs new tricks came to mind. Following an early dinner date, we went to his house to watch a movie. Once at his home I couldn’t help but notice that every surface and counter had piles stuff on it. Not to the point where he could be on the television show Hoarders, yet there was stuff everywhere. He proudly, as if to show off his bachelor pad, gave me a home tour which included more piles or stuff. During the movie, he mentioned that he had a house keeper that came 4 times a week. And then it happened…more like popped out of my mouth, I said, “Get Outta Here, you’re joking, right?” He displayed zero emotion and said nothing. After we finished watching the movie, I had to go tinkle, and asked which bathroom I should use. He escorted me to the master bedroom bathroom. The door was off kilter thus making it impossible to close all the way, so I went tinkle as quickly as possible. As I exited the bathroom, he had his ear on the other side of the door, or so it seemed, because he was right there with his head sideways. Majorly creepy. At that moment, as nice as he was, I decided he was probably not the guy for me. Later that week, following our last and final date, I decided to snoop a little. I am not a particularly snoopy person, but I was curious about his social media and he had already told me that he looked up everything he could find about me online. It turns out that 98% of his social media friends are Web Cam Girls. I mean the real naughty ones. Now, it’s one thing for an older single man liking and viewing and paying for Web Cam Girls, but to basically advertise your proclivities on social media is not a good idea, especially when you are in the mist of procuring new job opportunities, like in his case. So now, I say to myself, like I have said to many a friend, Woman You Just Dodge a Bullet!

Meanwhile, I wished Henry all the best and have put him in touch with the ever so popular Granny Cam Irma. She is a wildly successful Web Cam Granny and just may be more his Cup-O-Tea.